The invitation arrives, and before you think about seeing everyone, you’re already thinking about the meal. What will be served? Will someone comment on your body? What if you feel overwhelmed?

When you’re living with an eating disorder, the holidays can bring pressure alongside moments you want to enjoy. You can look forward to seeing people and still feel anxious about being there. You don’t have to pretend the season is easy to deserve support.

Make a plan before the gathering

Talk with your treatment team about the situations you expect to find difficult. Holiday travel, unfamiliar foods, and changes in meal times may need some advance planning. If you have a meal plan, work with your team on how to follow it through those changes. Avoid skipping meals to prepare for a holiday dinner.

Ask about appointment schedules and support options before holiday closures. A plan is more useful when you know whom to contact and when they are available. These suggestions support, rather than replace, your individual treatment plan.

Choose someone who can be in your corner

You don’t have to explain your experience to everyone at the table. Consider one trusted person who could sit beside you, redirect a conversation, or check in afterward.

Be specific about what would help: “Could you change the subject if people start talking about dieting?” or “Could we spend some time together after dinner?” A trusted adult can help a teen make these arrangements.

Have a few words ready for uncomfortable comments

You may hear opinions about food, weight, or appearance that you didn’t ask for. A short response can give you somewhere to start:

  • “I’d rather we not talk about my body.”
  • “Can we change the subject from diets?”
  • “I’m working on this with my treatment team.”

You don’t need to turn your boundary into a debate. Your support person can help carry the conversation.

Plan for the time after the meal

Support can matter after everyone leaves the table, too. Arrange something gentle with someone you trust: a game, a familiar movie, or a conversation in another room. Talk with your team about what to do if urges to engage in eating-disorder behaviors become stronger.

If you will be spending the holiday alone, arrange a check-in ahead of time. A quiet day can still include connection.

Leave room for an imperfect day

Perhaps you needed more support than you expected. Perhaps you spoke up once and found it harder the next time. Those moments are worth bringing to therapy; they don’t need to become another reason to criticize yourself.

Instead of asking whether you handled everything perfectly, consider: What helped? What felt difficult? What would I like someone to understand before the next gathering?

You can ask for support before the holidays

You don’t need to wait until January to talk about concerns around food or your body.

Jennifer Pankow-Martinez, EdS, LMHC offers eating-disorder and body-image therapy for teens and adults in Coral Gables, with telehealth throughout Florida. Learn more about eating-disorder and body-image therapy or call 786-348-7769 to schedule an appointment.